The master complainer

My youngest, the Z-man has always been a bit of a complainer and very dramatic. Thank goodness he's cute as a button and a super snuggler. Otherwise it would be pretty hard to laugh over the following:

Z-man's list of complaints this morning ( in a span of, I kid you not, five minutes)

1. I'm REEEEEAAALLLLY TIIRED and REEEEAAALLYY WEEEAAAK ( he's known to pull this one when he doesn't want to go to school- and I have to give him credit- it's nonspecific, a symptom of many different illnesses, impossible to disprove and allows for a "comeback" later in the day where he feels better to play playstation and Wii.

2. Something just STUNG my PINKY TOE! ( yup, my kids call their little toe a pinky toe and their big toes, thumb toes- drives me crazy.)

3. My belt's too long. ( the kid has a 4 inch waist, EVERY belts too long)

4. I can't find any socks to wear. ( funny, I found 5 of your socks under various pieces of furniture just yesterday)

5. I didn't get ANY sleep last night. ( yeah, well welcome to the club. I haven't had a good night's sleep since 1992)

6. I hate the zipper on my backpack. ( the same backpack you BEGGED my to get cuz your perfectly good backpack from last year isn't cool anymore???)

7. I'm having a bad hair day- it's REAALLY TALL - like a FOOT off my head. ( Not a problem, where's the clippers?)

8. I can't find my toothbrush. ( Now, this complaint's actually encouraging- it means, he does, on occasion BRUSH HIS TEETH!)

And that's why I'm the bestest mommy in the whole world. I listened to his whole tirade with motherly tsks, you'll be fines and grunts and DIDN'T LOSE MY TEMPER ONCE! Let's see Michael Phelps do THAT!

My child may starve today.

7:40 am. The kiddos are on their way to school with their dad which is about a 30 minute drive. The Z-man (10 year old son) just called in his most panicked voice "I FORGOT MY LUNCH!!!!!!!" I reply very kindly " No problem, just eat the school lunch". Z-man " BUT IT'S RAVIOOOOOLI!" in a whiny voice sure to shatter car windows within a mile radius. Me- " Well, I'm not making the hour round trip into school just to deliver your lunch, what with gas prices the way they are, I'd have to sell a kidney, not to mention I have more important things to do (like drink a few more cups of coffee and watch reruns of Spin City) than spend and hour delivering your lunch to school." Z-man " OK, THEN, BUT IM NOT EATING RAVIOLI, AND I'LL STARVE AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE". Me- " well, my sweet child, if you're hungry enough, you'll eat it, I love you, have a good day, goodbye" Cuz I KNOW if I don't get off the phone NOW, his whining will get so loud, he'll shatter my ear drum.

Now, where's that sandwich he left in the kitchen- I'm hungry.